Journal 12
WHY HELLO THAR. This truly is an exciting tale aint it? Yeah the answer is yes. Stupid.
SO I got up and approached the counter. I said to the guy standing there "HEY you never supplied my mustardy needs!" Still no response from the guy. "Fine just tell me where the head cook is like last time." He pointed to the same blobular woman and I just couldn't believe my eyes. She was drinking pepsi. THATS JUST PLAIN RIDICULOUS. PEPSI? DRINKING? I ran up to her and said, "No no no not in MY starbucks." She then ran out the store screaming "ME AND PEPSI TOGETHER FOREVER"
Wow. Unexpected results.
I then sat on the counter and asked this old man about his dessert. He CLAIMED it was delicious but I didn't like the look in his eye. So I called him a big ol' liar and slapped him across the face. Then mid-slap the head chef walked in. "Ze Pepsi vand I had ze arguvent. Ve shall now exchange ze deeshwasher vith ze information about Gaklama Kalama." AND WE DID. YEAH WE SHURE DID DO THAT. "Gaklama Kalama iz in ze fowntain at ze Zentral Park and he iz zcrubbin hiz toe"
Again. JFK. Plane flight. YEAH!
Then I realized. I got on the wrong plane. This plane was heading straight for Atlantis! CENTRAL PARK! IS NOT IN ATLANTIS! The only tourist attractions in Atlantis are jellyfish and peanut butter. And bread. Wet bread. Cause atlantis is underwater. But fish like wet bread. So there's not so much wet bread left in Atlantis. Wet bread is an endangered species in Atlantis. That's what I think. You wanna know what else I think? I think that Republicans are wrong in so many ways. On so many levels. So. Many. *shudder*
I ran into the cockpit of the plane. But it was empty. Cause pilots are outdated. I ran around screaming, naked, like a maniac. But there are some things wrong with that description.
1) I wasn't naked.
2) I wasn't running.
3) In fact, I wasn't even screaming.d
5) Airplanes haven't been invented yet and therefore pilots can't possibly be outdated.
N) No way, Steve. Not possible. That is defini
4) tely not possible, our studies of metaphysics aren't nearly as advanced!!
Could you catch all the things wrong with the description now? Can you? Can you catch them all?
(POKEMON!)
With all that being said, a stewardess kindly asked me to return to my seat and buckle in NICE AND TIGHT cause I was disturbing the peace, which was apparently NOT COOL! I told her to shut her face and then she sat down and told me that I was fat. Permanent wound man permanent wound.
The flight was short and brief. It probably lasted about an hour since apparently Atlantis is just off the coast of South America. WHAT ARE THE CHANCESS?! So then we crashed into the ocean and there was much screaming and crying and pooping and dancing and laughing and a couple monkeys here and there too. The pilot then said "Okay all you losers get off the fricken boat before I call the cops." I then ran up to him, shook his hand, and gave him a thousand dollar tip.
I then tripped and fell face first off the boat and into the water. The water was warm and purple. Like a sweater.
I like sweaters.
The people behind me said "AY. GO GET YO PANTS ON BOI." I looked down to see that they were right! My pants! Were back in Lima! I guessed that I probably took them off after that CRRRAZZY night at the orthadontist. He took my pants off. To look at my teeth.
Now that's a bit fishy.
I then yelled at everyone to SHUTUP and go to the underground sewers and swim. (it was all I could come up with within a few seconds.) They gave me a puzzled look but then jumped into the water and swam lower and lower and lower and lower and higher and lower and diagnally and lower and then they found ATLANTIS! WOWZERS! I asked the guy with the nose if there's anyway to get back to land and to catch a plane to New York. He knew exactly what he was gonna say and said it. He said "...................................nope" and I kicked him really hard in the face.
But I didn't care what the guy with the nose said. He has a nose. What does he know about anything? Nothin. Yeah nothin I said it. I went all the way down to Atlantis with the rest of the peeps and I saw this big whale standing in my way of the entrance. I poked his belly button and he got really embarassed and ran into the city blushing.
Typical whale.
-Hey What Have we Here? It Looks Interesting... oh man! I've Seen this Before! Ah.. ah what was it Called... Oh Yeah! It's the Hey Howdy Hey Woozy Woozy Totally Unbelievably Horse/Turtle-Like Gigantic Great but Forgetful Adventures of Haman J. Palamanikikila!
The flight was short and brief. It probably lasted about an hour since apparently Atlantis is just off the coast of South America. WHAT ARE THE CHANCESS?! So then we crashed into the ocean and there was much screaming and crying and pooping and dancing and laughing and a couple monkeys here and there too. The pilot then said "Okay all you losers get off the fricken boat before I call the cops." I then ran up to him, shook his hand, and gave him a thousand dollar tip.
I then tripped and fell face first off the boat and into the water. The water was warm and purple. Like a sweater.
I like sweaters.
The people behind me said "AY. GO GET YO PANTS ON BOI." I looked down to see that they were right! My pants! Were back in Lima! I guessed that I probably took them off after that CRRRAZZY night at the orthadontist. He took my pants off. To look at my teeth.
Now that's a bit fishy.
I then yelled at everyone to SHUTUP and go to the underground sewers and swim. (it was all I could come up with within a few seconds.) They gave me a puzzled look but then jumped into the water and swam lower and lower and lower and lower and higher and lower and diagnally and lower and then they found ATLANTIS! WOWZERS! I asked the guy with the nose if there's anyway to get back to land and to catch a plane to New York. He knew exactly what he was gonna say and said it. He said "...................................nope" and I kicked him really hard in the face.
But I didn't care what the guy with the nose said. He has a nose. What does he know about anything? Nothin. Yeah nothin I said it. I went all the way down to Atlantis with the rest of the peeps and I saw this big whale standing in my way of the entrance. I poked his belly button and he got really embarassed and ran into the city blushing.
Typical whale.
-Hey What Have we Here? It Looks Interesting... oh man! I've Seen this Before! Ah.. ah what was it Called... Oh Yeah! It's the Hey Howdy Hey Woozy Woozy Totally Unbelievably Horse/Turtle-Like Gigantic Great but Forgetful Adventures of Haman J. Palamanikikila!
No comments:
Post a Comment