We last left off when I realized zombies really WERE flesh eating maniacs.
I dashed down the hallway, and turned the corner. The lights were off. I was scared.
I was really scared.
I slowed to a walk. And then, without warning, a zombie smashed through a store front behind me. A flood of about 30 or so followed. I shrieked. Like a lady. I ran through the hall, tripped, lost my second shoe, and kept on running.
The hall ended with a huge glass window, and I ran so hard I smashed straight through. Only then did I remember I was on the 7th floor of the mall. At least I wasn't on the 42nd floor. Hey, they don't call it the GREAT Mall for nothing.
I fell through the air, and smashed into a mattress. I'm thinking the same exact thing you are. Why DID they name thicker and darker text "bold" text? Why couldn't they have switched the name with "italic"?
What was that? You were thinking about pineapples? Gee, that sure shows how you're paying attention to the story. You're such a disgrace. And your breath stinks. Go wash it out with vinegar. And garlic oil. Please. You disgust me.
Where did that mattress come from? Why were they here? What was their purpose in life? The philosophical meanderings of mattresses are much funner to ponder than ours. While lying on this mattress I realized that I was quite sleepy. QUITE SLEEPAY. So then I started to nap.
I had dreams man. Dreams about unicorns, and multi-colored gummy bears. It was a magical dream. This dream would go great with some ceaser salad. Don't you agree? Well I agree. I agree quite thoroughly.
Then the freakin zombies. Those silly zombies... They then rained from the sky while yelling something in Portuguese. They all fell on my bony body and it hurt. Like a painful hurt of PAIN.
I groaned, and murmured, "Mom... I don't wanna go to school." "Mom. Leave me alone mom. NO, I DON'T want pineapple milk for breakfast. It's just not right." Then I realized it wasn't my mother. Then I realized I never had a mother, there were only grapes. Just GRAPES everywhere. Like all over the place.
So back to the zombies. They had smelly breath. It smelled of lemons and hair straightener. I'm usually fond of lemons, but not this time. It was a lemon gone wrong. Oh so wrong. The zombies then started to nibble my ears. It tickled a little but was mostly unpleasant. I then yelled at them to nibble their own ears but they just wouldn't listen. They didn't give me the respect I deserve. I DESERVE RESPECT FROM ZOMBIES.
Just then, an alien aircraft sped over the air and licked the zombie's fur. It was funny, but it only lasted a few microseconds. But wait... ZOMBIES DIDN'T HAVE FUR. Anyway, because of all the licking, they got up and just sorta wandered their own ways. I got up off the mattress, and it disappeared. I turned around. The Great Mall of China was gone too. In it's place was a mass jungle. A South American Jungle. I was confused, scared, and wanted a bath. A wet bath. Not a dry one. Those things are ridiculous. You know what? I DO want a dry bath. I also wanted to continue my nap, but I had work to do.
Dead Micheal Jackson counted on me.
- The Super Amazing Wondrous Wonderful Adventures of the Wow Look At Him Cool Dude Haman J. Freakin Palamanikikila.
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